The Anatomy of a Bunking Mission

Bunking has always been an art. An art mastered by Senior Kazaks at SSKZM. An art carefully passed on from one generation to the next, almost like an unofficial part of the curriculum.

There were many types of so-called "Bunkers."

From Casual Bunkers... to Occasional Bunkers... to the legendary Professional Bunkers.

The purpose of bunking mostly ranged from buying or eating food at either Kazhakoottam or Chanthavila, watching movies, making short purchases, or simply enjoying a few hours of freedom away from school.

The real professionals, however, were always the "Movie Goers." They practically kept Krishna Theatre running. If there was a new release, chances were that at least one Kazak was already seated inside before the opening credits rolled.

Regular bunking was mostly for food. Shyamala Bakery, with its famous Porotta and Chilly Beef, was always at the top of the bunking itinerary. Many of us probably knew that menu better than the school menu! The professional bunkers never returned empty-handed. They would come back carrying not just their own food, but orders for half the dormitory. The shopping list would easily match the size of a wedding catering order.

Ironically, the person taking all the risk rarely spent money on himself. Instead, he collected a little "Hafta" or "Commission" from everyone's contributions. A true businessman in uniform!

Of course, not every bunking mission ended in success. Many chapters were adventurous, some became legendary, while quite a few ended with the heroes being Caught & Bowled... or even Stumped by teachers, the Headmaster, or the Principal.

But every successful escape, every narrow miss, every hilarious failure, and every punishment eventually became a story—stories that are still narrated with pride and laughter whenever Kazaks meet again.

To add to this, I must share one of my own bunking adventures. I won't reveal the names of the other two "co-accused" because today they occupy very respectable positions in society. Let their reputations remain intact!

It happened during the evening study hours. Three of us hatched a perfectly "foolproof" plan—not to watch a movie this time, but simply to enjoy a feast at the legendary Shyamala Bakery.

The study hour was from 6:30 PM to 8:30 PM, and our mission was planned with military precision. The objective was simple: sneak out after study hour began, have our fill at Shyamala Bakery, and return before dinner as if nothing had happened.

Our escape route had already been identified after careful reconnaissance. Near the Class XI section, there was a downhill path leading towards the staff quarters. The newly constructed boundary wall had a small opening—probably unnoticed by the authorities, but certainly not by the sharp eyes of three hungry Kazaks.

Everything was timed to perfection. We knew who would be where, which route had the least chance of being spotted, and even calculated how long we could spend at the bakery before beginning our return journey.

At least, that was the plan...

Our plan received unexpected support from the Kerala State Electricity Board. Just as the evening study hour began at 6:30 PM, there was a power cut that lasted till 7:00 PM. Darkness was our ally, and we silently slipped out of the classroom.

To minimise the risk of getting caught, we had devised another brilliant strategy. Instead of taking the direct downhill route together, the three of us would move separately through different paths and regroup at a pre-decided point near the boundary wall. From there, we would make our grand escape through the famous opening in the newly constructed wall.

On paper, it looked like a military operation.

In reality... it was three hungry boys conducting a navigation exercise without a map.

The downhill area was filled with cashew nut trees. Criss-crossing through them were several narrow footpaths—some made by the staff, some by previous generations of legendary bunkers, and some that probably led nowhere at all.

Within minutes, our flawless plan collapsed. Each one of us confidently took a different path... and each one of us got completely lost.

Somehow, all three of us managed to reach somewhere near the boundary wall. The funny part was that none of us could find the others. Instead of searching for our friends, we were all independently searching for the tiny opening in the wall that was supposed to lead us to freedom... and to the irresistible Porotta and Chilly Beef waiting at Shyamala Bakery.

Little did we know that the real adventure was only just beginning.

Now, out of the three of us, one fellow was completely lost. Poor chap couldn't find the boundary wall... couldn't find the opening... and, to make matters worse, couldn't even find his way back to the school! He had simply vanished into the cashew plantation.

That left two of us near the wall. One of my friends successfully squeezed through the opening and landed outside the school compound...

...only to land straight in front of the Headmaster!

Mission over. He was caught red-handed.

I, however, was still inside the boundary wall. Thanks to the darkness caused by the power cut, the Headmaster couldn't immediately realise that there was another bunker inside the compound. The moment he sensed someone else moving inside, he started running along the outside of the wall, trying to find an entrance to catch me.

And there I was... running on the inside of the wall, desperately trying to find either the opening to escape or at least a route back to the school!

For a few hilarious minutes, we were literally running parallel to each other, separated only by the boundary wall. He was outside chasing me. I was inside trying to outrun him. Neither of us could actually reach the other!

Then came the biggest twist.

The friend whom the Headmaster had caught somehow wriggled free from his grip and escaped. Instead of running home like any sensible person would, he jumped back into the school compound!

Suddenly, the chase was back on.

Now there were three people sprinting through the maze of cashew trees—me, my ally, and the Headmaster.

The whole scene looked less like a school bunking episode and more like a military operation. It was as if the Indian Army was conducting a night-time search operation through dense terrain, with one determined officer chasing two highly untrained and hopelessly hungry "terrorists."

At one point, the Headmaster's voice grew louder, echoing through the cashew plantation. It almost felt like we were in a military hide-and-seek operation. Every shout, every footstep became a signal. We could literally track his movement just by listening. The direction of his voice, the crunch of dry leaves beneath his feet, and the brief moments of silence between his calls helped us navigate our own movements without ever seeing him. It was as if we were using sound instead of sight to survive the mission.

"He's over there!" we realised, as the sound shifted direction.

In panic, both of us—me inside and my friend outside—ended up converging unknowingly and, in a ridiculous twist of fate, hid behind the same cashew nut tree. The irony was unbelievable. Out of an entire cashew plantation, we had somehow chosen the very same tree without either of us knowing.

For a moment, neither of us even realised the other was there. Then, as we cautiously peeked from opposite sides of the tree, our eyes met. The expressions on our faces said it all. Just as the Headmaster's footsteps faded past us, we looked at each other and burst into uncontrollable laughter, trying our best to stay silent but failing miserably. The more we tried to suppress it, the funnier it became.

After a few tense minutes, once we were sure the danger had passed, we quietly slipped away and made our way back towards the school compound, still chuckling at the absurdity of it all. Looking back today, that little episode remains one of the funniest memories of our school days—proof that sometimes the best adventures are the ones that almost end in disaster.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the darkness, our third partner was still wandering around, probably wondering whether he was in Sainik School or the Silent Valley National Park!

The Headmaster was now back in full force, storming into the school premises and demanding that every student be accounted for. His voice echoed through the corridors as he ordered the class leader to take attendance immediately.

My friend and I somehow managed to sneak back into the classroom separately, trying our best to look as innocent as possible. Our uniforms looked normal, but our hearts were pounding so loudly that we were convinced the entire class could hear them.

To our absolute surprise, when the class leader finished counting, the strength was full.

Every single student was present.

My friend and I exchanged stunned looks. It simply didn't make sense.

Where was our third partner?

We slowly scanned the classroom... first row... second row... then towards the last bench.

And there he was.

Bent slightly forward, gasping for breath, looking as though he had just completed an Olympic marathon.

For a few seconds, we simply stared at him.

Relief.

Disbelief.

And then an overwhelming urge to burst into laughter.

He had made it!

Somehow, after getting hopelessly lost inside the cashew plantation, he had accidentally discovered an entirely different route back to the school. While the Headmaster was busy chasing the two of us, this fellow had quietly entered the classroom from another side and taken his seat just before attendance was called.

Sometimes, getting completely lost is the best escape route.

The Headmaster stood there for another minute, looking around the classroom one last time. Three faces. Three innocent expressions. Full attendance.

With nothing left to prove, he walked away, probably wondering whether he had imagined the whole episode.

The moment he disappeared from sight, we rushed to our third friend.

Only then did we realise what he had actually gone through.

His pants were covered in mud. His shoes looked as though they had been excavated from a paddy field. There were leaves stuck all over his uniform, and he looked like a commando who had spent three days behind enemy lines before finally returning to base.

We couldn't control ourselves anymore. The three of us laughed until our stomachs hurt.

Forget Porotta and Chilly Beef...

That night, hunger had been completely replaced by pure adrenaline.

Ironically, our carefully planned mission to eat at Shyamala Bakery ended without a single Porotta, without a single piece of Chilly Beef, and without spending even a single rupee.

But it gave us something far more valuable. A story.

A story that still makes us laugh decades later. And perhaps that's the real beauty of bunking at SSKZM.

Very few of us remember what was served for dinner that evening.

But every one of us who hears this story remembers three hungry boys, a power cut, a tiny hole in a boundary wall, a furious Headmaster, a maze of cashew trees... and one legendary bunking mission that failed spectacularly, yet succeeded in becoming unforgettable.

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ഒരു കര കമ്പി... (A Rumor...)

It was only later that we came to know what had actually happened.

The fellow who got caught had landed right in front of the Headmaster!

The funniest part?

Since it was Wednesday Evening Study, we were all in civil dress. In the semi-darkness, the Headmaster hadn't recognised him at all.

In fact, by God's grace, he would probably have walked away unnoticed...

But our highly disciplined Kazak had other plans!

The moment he recognised the "Officer," years of Sainik School conditioning took over.

He stood properly...

Identified the Headmaster...

...and gave him a textbook salute!

That was it. The Headmaster didn't identify him...

He identified himself!

Mission aborted by discipline.

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